Headline of the Year?

When puns go bad, we -- poor readers -- get something like this.

Thank you, crazy Manila Standard Today copy editor, for making my day.

Rainy days in Manila

One of the things I'll remember about Manila after I've moved away is the rain. It was rainy when I got here in August last year, and now we're back to the rainy season, a few months before I leave. I love the rain -- the sounds, the smell of the air. But what I really love most about rainy days is the excuse to do nothing. (OK, so I wouldn't have accomplished anything productive today anyway, but the rain helps me justify it).

When it started pouring today, I pulled out my current reading material, Thanks for the Memories, Mr. President by Helen Thomas, the longtime UPI White House correspondent. The book is really just a series of vignettes cobbled together by Thomas and her colleages in the White House press corps -- funny, insightful moments from nine (yes, nine!) presidential administrations. And so far, the thing that's struck me most, is how much Bush Jr. is like his father -- with strange interpretations of the English language and incomprehensible answers to questions. (Forgive me for not noticing this sooner, I was 8 years old when Bush Sr. was sworn into office).

Here's a great example, Thomas writes:

"During the 1992 New Hampshire primary, Bush noted in a speech, 'Remember Lincoln, going to his knees in times of trial in the Civil War and all that stuff. You can't be. And we are blessed. So don't feel sorry for -- don't cry for me, Argentina.'"

Huh? (But I believe Bush Sr. has been upstaged by his son in the "what did he just say?" department. )

Anyway, I had just made it through the Clinton administration and was about to move onto Bush Jr. when I decided that I just wasn't doing enough of, well, nothing. So I got dressed and wandered across the street for a massage at my neighborhood spa.

Now, a bit sluggish and tired, I'm meeting some friends for dinner and drinks. Tomorrow I hope to make it to a cockfight -- a Philippine tradition that I have yet to experience. If that doesn't happen, my friend and I are planning another trip to the spa.

Yes, life in Manila sure is tough.

Photo Essay: Good Friday crucifixion

In the spirit of blog posting, I've decided to finally post my photos of the Good Friday reenactment of the crucifixion of Jesus Christ. When I decided to move here, one of my friends in the states told me she knew two things about the Philippines: 1) Imelda Marcos has lots of shoes, and 2) that's the country where people volunteer to be crucified ever year with real nails. I knew I had to see both the crucifixion and the shoes. (One down, one to go.)

One of my friends from work is from a town near San Fernando in Pampanga -- right near crucifixion ground zero. He had always been too afraid to watch the actual crucifixion. As a kid, he ran and hid behind his mother when the shirtless penitants with bloody backs walked by his house whipping themselves. So he had no desire to see it now, 20 years later, with the crazy American. I eventually convinced him with my enthusiasm for all things historical -- including reenactments that draw blood. (They volunteer, so what's the harm?)I think Good Friday 2006 in Pampanga was the hottest day I have ever experienced. Hot, humid, no shade. We sluggishly made our way through crowds of penitants, tourists and locals who were hanging out by the side of the street, watching the yearly procession. The event can be divided into two parts -- the procession of the penitents whipping themselves and the actual crucifixion in a big field in front of thousands of people and TV cameras.
Although it would seem like the crucifixion would be the most dramatic part of the day's events, the first, more bloody part sort of knocks the wind out of the sails of the crucifixion. The shirtless men sacrificing their backs line up on a narrow street. They whip themselves with bamboo pieces attached to a rope. For a long time they just whip and whip and nothing happens. Once in a while I had to dodge a whip or two -- the street is very narrow and with all the people it's difficult to avoid the flying weapons/torture devices. Then the Jesuses start to arrive to make their procession to the field where they will be affixed to a cross.
They're escorted by men in gladiador costumes.

In the hot sun and the crowd, the procession feels very, very long. And then suddenly you have to start ducking for cover. Backs start getting bloody and the blood starts flying.

(That's also apparently when I forgot how to use the meter on my camera.)
The tricycle driver wipes the blood off his tricycle.
When we got to the field, what seemed like thousands of people were already there, crammed into a sort of pit area for spectators. Photographers and cameramen sat on a raised platform, a bit above eye-level from where the Jesuses would be crucified. The crosses were on a raised mound above where we were standing. With so many people wrangling for a photo of the Jesuses as they were crucified, it was difficult for me to get my own photos, but I managed a few.
The Jesuses don't actually stay crucified for very long -- maybe just a few minutes. And there's a platform built into the cross for them to stand on, so the weight of their bodies doesn't cause more damage to their already injured hands and feet.
Throughout all the crucifixions, my friend kept talking about "the white guy" that was supposed to be crucified. He was really just there to see the white guy. When we were about to collapse from heat stroke and dehydration, we finally left. We didn't get to see the white guy, but I read about him later, and it turns out that he was there but didn't go through with it. He was a news anchor from the UK who was making a documentary called "Crucify Me." I guess the documentary didn't exactly end the way he intended.

*****

I have more photos from the crucifixion posted on my Flickr account.

A badge of honor

In a nation obsessed with credentials, the resume is a very important document. Use the wrong title, you might not get the job you want. But, if you went to a school that has "Harvard" anywhere in the name (and, somehow, plenty of schools in the Philippines have found a way to insert the word "Harvard" into their names) -- and you've got the job!

So when I found some fascinating resumes on the Philippine Senate Web site this morning I was not at all surprised by one resume that boasted "educational training" at Georgetown University, Harvard and the University of the Philippines (among others).

But when I started to browse through more of the resumes and biographies of the country's senators, I found a few more telling items.

I first checked Miriam Defenosor Santiago's biography. She's always entertaining -- my coworkers' favorite mantra about Miriam is that "she's always good for a sound bite!" -- and her biography did not disappoint. One section titled "Youth Idol" describes Senator Santiago in language usually reserved for television commercials for American Idol.

Dr. Miriam Defensor Santiago is a charismatic Philippine icon, idolized by all young people throughout the country for her intellectual brilliance, fiery eloquence, and moral courage. Millions of Filipinos believe that she won as president but was cheated in 1992, when she ran as a wildly popular independent candidate. She has triumphed against attempts on her life, political persecution, electoral fraud, and black propaganda, to become a role model for her millions of fans.

Of course, the section "Miriam Magic" is the icing on the cake: "She has been called the incorruptible lady, the platinum lady, the tiger lady, the dragon lady, the iron lady of Asia, the queen of popularity polls, and the undisputed campus heroine. But to her millions of fans, she is best known for the unique brand of charismatic leadership that media likes to call 'Miriam magic.'"

Someone should tell her that when she's called "the dragon lady," it's not necessarily a good thing.

More interesting -- or perhaps revealing -- are the headings on Sen. Aquilino Pimintel's resume. After listing his work experience and political experience, Pimintel lists his other "accomplishments" with the resume headings "Ousters from Public Office" and "Martial Law Arrests and Detentions." (These are actually headings from his resume -- where people like me would use "Awards" or "Skills.")

While I can stretch my imagination enough to understand why a senator might choose to list his arrests during martial law -- to show his courage against a ruthless dictator! -- I'm still not convinced that drawing attention to the times he was ousted from public office is a good idea. Of course, in a place where coups are attempted approximately every three and a half months, it's no surprise that being ousted from office is a badge of honor.